Guest - Frank Morgan (AFRS)

The Fred Allen Show. The Fred Allen Show with Fred's guest, Henry Morgan. Fulton Hoffman, over the fire's Peter Donald Parker-Fenley, the Demarco Sisters, and Al Goodman and his orchestra. Mr. Allen! Portland. Portland, it's Sunday. What are you doing with that shopping bag?

Momma set me out to look for bread. Bread? There's a strike at the bakery's bread is scarce. Oh. Well, how are you getting along at your house? Well, mama can get bread again. We're eating toast.

Well, that's the thing to do when you can't get bread, fill up on toast. Or, crewpons, you're those wet, get them out of the soup and dry them. They're awfully good. Those cretins, you take them out of this soup.

Mama was using donuts for bread. Really? Well, how did that work out? All right, until she made poached eggs. Poached eggs on donuts? Mama couldn't eat them. Why not? Every time she picked up a donut, the poached egg slipped through the little hole.

All donuts, eh? Well, there's only one way to fix that. The next time your mother poaches an egg, tell her to put a little starch in the hot water. Oh, the starch will stiffen it up.

The white of the egg will taste like a shirt front without the buttonholes. But the eggs won't slip through the hole in the donut. I'll tell her. Do that. That's a little trick. You better make a note of it.

It might slip your mind. You might be thinking of bacon later and it'll slip your mind. Something greasy like that. That's a little trick the mystery chef taught me, Portland. He taught me a lot of things.