Archie's Singing Contest

Hello, Duffy's tavern, what do you eat meat, tea? Aren't you the man just speaking? Duffy ain't here. Oh, look, Duffy, guess what we just had? A new customer. Yeah, a sweet little old lady. But I'm proud to say that this liquor of ours does something to people, Duffy.

That sweet little old lady walked out of here. Yell, yell, who won't help two boy scouts across the street? Yeah. Yeah. Huh? Well, you know, they're not all old ladies that come in here. In fact, tonight I'm expecting my new girlfriend, Joseita, the cute little tamale from South America, the chili belly.

You should get a lot of it, Tuffy, a real cute little armful. Huh? Last night we went to a symphony at Carnegie's Hall. A symphony. It's a Greek word, you know. What? Sort of a contraption.

Sim meaning music, and if you can figure out what phony means, that's it. Well, you know, for a symphony it was pretty good. Yeah, horrible. Well, I'm going to check to see what the critics have to say about it in the paper.

I'll call you back. Hey, Fats. Yes, sir. Fats, how do you feel about classical music? Classical music? Let me put it this way. What way? It will never replace the good old Chinese water torture.

That's, I think I agree with you. In that case, how come he was hooked to going? Well, I was tricked. I thought it was a Polish wrestling match. What made you think that? The sign out in front. I thought the sign said Tristamvacious assaulted.

Well, Mr. Archibb, if it was so bad, why didn't you get a leave? Well, somebody had to sit there and give him a raspberry. You gave them the Raspberry? Yeah. Out loud? Yeah, only of course when I hit the wrong notes.