(xxx) Bobby Capo (Taped but never aired)

It's Duffy's Tavern, the Friday night transcribed feature on NBC's All-Star Festival of Comedy, Music, Mystery and Drama, brought to you by Chesterfield, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants, mildness plus no-one plus an aftertaste, the cigarette that brings you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, by the makers of Aniston, for Fast Relief, from Pain of Headache, New Ratus or New Ralja, and

and by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television. And now, here we go friends to Duffy's Tavern with Bird Gordon as the Mad Russian, Hazel Sherman as Miss Duffy, our guest Bobby Capoe and starring Archie himself, Ed Gardner.

Hello Duffy's Tavern, where the elite mate, D. Archie demand you speaking Duffy, ain't it? Oh hello Duffy, nice day today huh?

What's nice about it? Oh, I forgot it. You're wedding the anniversary. What kind of an anniversary present did you give the obese beast? You took it to El Morocco last night? Oh, that's nice. Did you go formal?

Semi-formal. You couldn't find the pants to the tuxedo. Oh, well, how was the crowd? A wealthy heiress from South America spent a thousand bucks? Why can't we get customers to spend that kind Well, look, Duffy, it takes brains to make a thousand bucks, and if a guy has enough brains to make it,

he's got too much brains to come and enjoy it like this. Well, okay, I'll call you back. Hey, did you hear that, Miss Duffy? A dame spent in a thousand bucks in a nightclub. Do you realize what you can buy for a thousand bucks today?

Sure. $300 worth of groceries. For a thousand bucks, how can that Elmerroco charge that much for food? Archie, you're not just paying for the food, you're also paying for the service. For a thousand bucks, what is the way to do? Take out your appendix?