Archie Wants to Marry Rich Agatha Pitts

Bristol Myers, makers of MUM, the Safer Deodorant, and Vitalis for well-groomed hair, bring you Duffy's Tavern, starring Archie himself and Gardener. Hello Duffy's Tavern, where the elite may see, Archie the Managed is speaking, Duffy ain't here.

Oh, hello Duffy. How's business? Well, we may put it this way. If business was a prize fighter, we'd be throwing water in his face. Huh? Grogan's across the street is doing great business. I don't know about that.

Duffy is just as many people coming out of his place as there is going in. Huh? Look, Duffy, there's a million jobs open and if you don't like the way I'm running this place, why don't you fire me?

Huh? Duffy, after eight years do you have to be so hasty? Huh? Look, virus, I have a T.L. for you compared to you Simon LaGrie is the smile and Irishman and as long as you're in this mode how about a race? Hello? That chisler. That crumb. That miser. That stunk.

Stunk? Eddie, quit defending the guy. Works me like a dog. Seven days a week. On me feet, 15 hours a day. Where's that newspaper? You're sitting on it. Oh, I'm gonna look up them help one of the ads.

Yeah, look, we'll see if you can find an ad saying wanted lazy bar tender. Just a minute. Part 10 and ain't the only thing I can do is 100 jobs. I'm qualified for a hundred. Yeah name one well well Okay, so there's only 99.

Now, let's look at that paper. Mm-hmm. A countenance, bakers, barbers, anything there for experience chicken plucker? Eddie, please. Let me see that paper. I mean, I can find a job for you. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the job at the circus.