Archie Buys a 'Gem' From Finnegan ( #90)

We take you now to Duffy's Tavern. Hello Duffy's Tavern. Why do you leave me to eat Archie the manager's spakin' Duffy in here? Oh hello Duffy. Uh, business? Not so good Duffy. Well, you see the weather is warm and people are starting to leave their windows open, so naturally our burglar trade is all out workin'.

Man, not a thing you know that's hurtin' business is that so-called food you've been servein'. Well, just this afternoon, a customer found a horseshoe on his meat sauce. And oh, Duffy, that's a dead giveaway.

And that Irish, though we've been saving, it certainly is Irish, customers eat it and turn green. Well, Duffy, all I know is it's getting pretty embarrassing when the garbage man has to stick his head into the kitchen and say which is which.

Well, why do I waste my time kicking about it? I ain't gonna be with you forever, Heaven, Staphese. No, sir, I ain't changed my plans when I eat it. I've got to have a joke for a boy, so I'm going to business for myself.

I'll reply yourself. The Heaven and the Archer? Yeah, I'll lick a supply of getting pretty low. Well, why bother me? You know what I think is. Oh, Mr. Oj, I can't cut that stuff again.

Already there's been complaints that the taste of the water is coming through the rock. Well, Eddie, I told Duffy about water in the liquor. What did he say? He says we should put up a sign.

Drinks with built-in chases. That doppy. Well, when I open my place, it's going to be a little higher-class. It ain't going to be a cheap dive like this. I'm gonna cut my walks in and plunk down his dough for a drink.