Guest Paul Lukas ( )

A special rebroadcast for the American Armed Forces and their allies. You're invited to drop in where the elite meet to eat. Duffy's Tavern. Duffy's Tavern where the elite meet to eat. Archie the manager's bacon's stuffy ain't here.

Oh, Duffy. Hey, Duffy. I just got a terrific idea for publicity stunts that overnight your name will be in every paper in the United States. Oh, Duffy. Don't have to stuff your wife in a trunk.

Oh, look. Tonight the winner of the Motion Picture Academy Award is coming to this place. Cool, Lucas! All right. He'll hear what he does. But the academy, he don't. What are you talking about? You're a great actor, huh?

All right? Who's better? Betty Graham, tough. They stack up. Different. Yeah, huh? Baby, Betty Graham has got what? Uh-huh, but what about the hisssy-ranic ability? Mr. Aaronicabody, and...

Well, that's when you can pack a theatre without displaying a single art. Yeah. And besides an act like Lucas, you know, he helps the story of a picture. Well, certainly if Patty Grabo was in watch on a rhyme, who watched the rhyme?

Why, I did. Oh, well, that tonight we're gonna publicly give poor Lucas a award. Yeah, the Duffy Oscar for Perfect Entertainment. Huh? It spells D-O-P-E? Well, Duffy, it's your reward. I'll call you back. Okay.

And so, Mr. Lucas... Let's ask you a second, Eddie. I'm practicing my speech. And so, Mr. Lucas, it is with Drake and Humble Humbridge. That's the way to present you with the Duffy Oscar. And that's ours.

Look, this Oscar. Well, what do you consist of? It's a great prize, Eddie. He is free-mailed at Duffy's parrot. That ain't no Oscar. That's a Mickey. Oh, poor Mr. Lucas. What do you mean poor Mr. Lucas?