The Legendary Criswell Predicts

interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives whether we want to or not. And remember my friend, these future events will affect you.

The future is in your hands. So let us remember the past, honor the present, and be amused at the future. I predict that politics will make stranger bedfellows than ever before. I fearlessly predict that the once politically inactive South will rise again in no uncertain terms.

I predict that every vote south of the Mason-Dixon line could easily be conservative. I predict there will be two political parties in America. One will be the conservative party and the other will be the liberal party.

There will be a clean-cut division which no one could conscientiously cross over. This startling trend will become most apparent before the next election, and you will join heartily in this stand whether you want to or not.

Now don't say you won't, because I predict you will. I predict fashions for both men and women will be exactly alike in the new unisex trend. The new tunics, which will soon be worn, have no difference except in size.

Women are growing smaller in stature, and the women are growing larger in stature, and there will only be three sizes, large, medium and small, to the new tunic you will soon wear. I predict there will be body stockings for those who would feel shy or modest.

Those who wish to wear nothing naturally will be free to do so. I predict the day of severity and dress will soon be at hand, almost puritanical in style, with no beads, no jangles, no bracelets.