That's What's Wrong With Christmas

Well Bill, how are you going to mix Christmas and the blues? I don't know how I did it. Maybe it was too much eggnog. And to all you blues enthusiasts out there, I apologize for this next song.

It's called That's What's Wrong with Christmas. Alright boys and girls, it's time for a little Christmas blues. I'm going to tell you what's wrong with Christmas. Yeah! What's going wrong? What's wrong with Christmas? Now I'm going to tell you what else is wrong with Christmas.

The other day I took my son to the mall. Now we were walking down the mall and there was Santa Claus and he was sitting in his chair and the children were lined up everywhere.

And I turned to my little boy and I said, son do you have any idea where Santa Claus really lives? And he looked me right at nine and he said, well yeah daddy, Santa Claus lives at the end of the mall right next to the food court.

And that's why he's so fat. I said son that's wrong. Hey! Nobody puts up lights anymore. It says it's too much trouble. Remember those little red, green and blue twinkly lights? I love those lights.

And matter of fact, the more money you had, the more light you could put up on your house. Well, my family didn't have a lot of money, so my daddy would tie a lit cigarette to a string and wrap them around our house.

You know that's wrong, but man, they were pretty. No one to show up anymore. You remember when Christmas used to come in?

At what Christmas? I mean, the Easter Bunny will wait for Easter, which is wait for Halloween? Turkey's wait for Thanksgiving, even the tooth fairy will wait for your teeth to fall out of your mouth.