Costello Looking For A Job

Hey Abbott, what time is it? It's time for the Abbott and Costello Show. We're on the air for ABC here in Hollywood. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go with the Abbott and Costello Show!

The Abbott and Costello Show! Produced and transcribed in Hollywood tonight for your listening pleasure with Susan Miller and the music of Matty Malley. Hold on to your tears, folks. For here they are, but Abbott and Luke Costello!

Alright, Costello, stop that yelling. What have you got in that box under your arm? Abbott, I bought myself some nice green shorts. I love green shorts. Abbott, in fact, I've got a pair on right now.

You dropped your package, Costello. Pick it up. Costello, you lied to me. You're not wearing green shorts. You're wearing purple. If you had a squeeze all the way around, what my shorts have to squeeze all the way around, you'd be purple too.

Never mind that. Where were you all day yesterday? I was out at the racetrack. I had a hunch at a good horse. Did you put the clock on him? Yes, but he kept kicking it off.

Doc sense. What do you know about horses? I was born on a horse. How could you be born on a horse? The store refused to carry me. refused to carry me. Did you bet on any horses?

Yes, I bet on a horse to finish first in the seventh race. Boy, am I mad. He finished first in the seventh race, and you're mad? Why? The horse started in the fourth race. But I was still a thrill, I haven't seen him with all six legs, driving across the finish line.