First Show For Abc

Hey, what's the name of it? Please, what time is it? It's time for the Abbot and Costello show. We're on the air for ABC here in Hollywood. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go with the Abbot and Costello show!

Listen, if you have an uncastellate show, with their new singing discovery, Susan Miller, with the list back to the singer. Broadcasting tonight from the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood, home of Ken Murray Blackout. So hold on to your tears, folks.

Here's the ice, but everything! All right, Costello, Costello, come over here. The opening night of our new program in your late. What took you so long to get here? Yeah, but I drove over my hot rod.

Hot rod? Yeah. You know what that is? What do you mean? Hot rod? That street got us a gas and a steering wheel. Oh, you're waiting. You shouldn't be allowed on the street with that thing.

Now that you haven't even got a driver's license. Oh, yes I have. I had one since I was four years old. How could you get a driver's license when you were four years old? This is California, ain't it?

That's the... It's people like... It's people like you that give California drive as a bad rip. I give him a bad reputation. Oh, yeah? Well, the California drivers are all right. The guys that are causing the trouble are those tourists who come out here and drive on the right side of the road.

That's Stella. That's Stella. How can you be such an idiot? How can I be such an idiot? How can you be such an idiot? I'm taking shots. You want to be ashamed of yourself. Well, first, I had a new broadcast and you couldn't even be on time. What detained you?