Radio Station With Alan Ladd

And the Abbot and Costello program brought to you by Camel, the cigarettes that's first in the service. Camel, stay fresh, cool smoking and slow burning because they're packed to go around the world. Thanks for the music of Freddie Ranche and his orchestra, the songs of Connie Haynes, tonight's guest Mr. Alan Lass, and starring Bud Abbott and Luke Costello.

I'm rich. What do you mean? Ooh, I'm a millionaire. Calm down, Costello. What's this all yelling all about? What do you mean you're a millionaire? Well, it's true, Abbott. My uncle asked if he just died and left me all his money and his will.

You mean you're his beneficiary? Yeah, because... Who's what? They're beneficiary. Beneficiary is the man who gets the money. Bene fisher ain't gonna get none at this money. My uncle left the daughter and me, Abbott.

How did many fishers get into this deal? I'll take him to court. I'll sue him. Pastello, you'll be quiet. Beneficiary means that you are your uncle's heir. My uncle's what? Your uncle's heir, heir. H E I R.

My uncle didn't have any H E I R. He was fallheaded. All right. Only had it with a mustache. So wide. Well, my uncle was very proud of that mustache. Every morning he used to cover it with toothpaste.

So why did he cover his mustache with toothpaste? Well, so he just swiped me. Ha ha ha. I mean toothpaste. Why did he do that? You have your S teeth in, haven't you? Yes, yes. I brought him along with me.

Ladies and gentlemen, we will start back again. Why did he cover his mustache? He covered his toothpaste. Toothpaste. Now let's have it. Go ahead. Why did he cover his mustache with toothpaste? Yes. So he could kiss his wife goodbye and brush her teeth at the same time.