Running A Newspaper With Hedda Hopper

The Abbot and Costello program brought to you by Camo, the cigarette that's first in the service. Camo, stay fresh, cool smoking and slow burning because they're packed to go around the world. The music of Friday Rage and his orchestra, the songs of Connie Haines, tonight's guest and famous columnist is Hetta Hopper and Starry, Butt Abbot and Blue Costello.

You are Costello. Oh boy Abbot, boy, something just happened. What happened? Here, read this telegram. Now let's see it. It says, your uncle's will has just been read. And you have inherited $3 million. Why, Costello, that's great.

What are you crying about, though? It ain't my telegram. I found it on the street. Ah! Ah! In a mat! Ah! All right, now that's ridiculous. Now listen, as mayor of Sherman Oaks, I call a meeting at City Hall tonight to decide that we've decided to publish a paper.

Yeah, we need new ideas. Oh, well, I have an idea for you newspaper that'll stand people under heads. What's your idea? Print your paper upside down. That was a funny joke. Alright, never mind. Every one of those kind of jokes.

Just talk sense, please. Okay, I'll talk sense. Now look at it. What do you want me to take charge of the paper? What do you know about the newspaper business? I wrote a four page article in the exam and this morning on fresh milk.

Here, look at it. Four pages on milk. Four pages on milk. I only see two lines. The editor condensed it. Okay, condensed it. I didn't have much. It was all just skimmed to news. Skimmed to our right pastel.

You don't know anything about news. Who don't? Did you know that the Joneses who live across the street from you had a fight last night, and Mr. Jones left the house for good? Are you sure that he left her for good?