To Guard A Seal: Richard Diamond, Private Detective (February 5, 1950)

“To Guard A Seal” is an episode of Richard Diamond, Private Detective, the old-time radio show, first broadcast February 5, 1950. Listen free on Stupid Potato.

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What happens

Private detective Richard Diamond is hired by a mysterious client named Casper Wellington to guard and protect someone named Timothy until he can be put on a train out of town. Diamond accepts the lucrative job despite knowing nothing about who or what he's protecting. When a crate arrives at his office, Diamond discovers Timothy is actually a live seal—and the situation rapidly spirals into chaos involving gangsters, murder, and hidden diamonds.

New York City, including Diamond's office building on River Street, the police station, Wellington's house, and Grand Central Station

Characters: Richard Diamond, Casper Wellington, Helen, Timothy the seal, Lieutenant Walt Levinson, Sergeant Otis, George and Tony (the two gunmen)

Listen for: The comedic running gag of Diamond having to care for an increasingly beloved seal, the escalating confusion as various parties pursue Timothy, and Dick Powell's dry delivery of wisecracks even while being threatened at gunpoint.

Written from the episode itself; it never gives away the ending. Every recording is remastered for the stream: cleaned of rumble, hiss and mains hum (and the old TV whine where we found it), then levelled in two passes to steady broadcast loudness, so one show is never quieter than the next.