What Would You Do If You Were A Dog: The Phil Harris (April 2, 1954)

The Phil Harris, old-time radio on Stupid Potato

“What Would You Do If You Were A Dog” is an episode of The Phil Harris, the old-time radio show, first broadcast April 2, 1954. Listen free on Stupid Potato: no sign-up, no app.

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What happens

Phil Harris is stuck at home on a rainy day with nothing to do, and his bandmate Elliott Lewis is his companion in mischief. The pair decide to make money by training Phil's big Saint Bernard, Herman, to perform tricks for movies. Their attempts at dog training are chaotic and the house suffers for it. Alice Faye tries to put a stop to the dog's antics, which leads to an argument with Phil. The Phil Harris series aired on NBC on April 2, 1954, with Phil Harris, Alice Faye, Elliott Lewis and Gale Gordon in the cast.

The Harris home in Encino, California

Characters: Phil Harris, Alice Faye, Elliott Lewis, Herman, Julius, Curly

Listen for: Phil and Elliott's attempts to train Herman, and Alice's objections to the dog

Written from the episode itself; it never gives away the ending. Every recording is remastered for the stream: cleaned of rumble, hiss and mains hum (and the old TV whine where we found it), then levelled in two passes to steady broadcast loudness, so one show is never quieter than the next.