I Just Go Nuts At Christmas

In the red like a knucklehead, cause als commander all may pay Oh, a is gone not set Christmas, shopping sure drives me berserk On the day before I rush in a store, like a poor bewilder'd yerk I look at Nikon's for my wife, those black ones trimmed in red But I won't know her size and so, she'll get the carpets we per instead

Oh yes, gone, not sent Christmas, When each kid hangs up his sock. It's a time for kids to flip their lids, Well, there's Papa, go seein' the hog. On the night before Christmas, it's still in the house.

My family is sleeping, so I'm tired like a mouse. I look at my watch, and midnight is near. I think I'll sneak out for a cold, glassy beer. Down at the corner the crowd is so merry I end up by drinking about 12 tamanieri.

I get to bed late in the US how I'm sleeping, when on to my bed those darn kids they come leaping, they sit on my face and they yump on my belly and I'm quivering all over like a bowl full of yellowy.

They scream merry Christmas, my poor wife and me. We stumble downstairs and she lights off the tree. My head is exploding. My mouth tastes like a pickle. I step on a skate and fall on a tricycle.

Used before Christmas dinner, I relax to a point. Then relatives start swarming all over the oint. On Christmas, I hug and kiss my wife's mother. The rest of the year we don't speak to each other.

After dinner my aunt and my wife's uncle Louis get into an argument, they're both awful screwy. Then all my wife's family say Louis is right and my goofy relations they join in the fight. Back in the corner the radio is playing and over the racket Gabriel heater is saying, Peace, honor to everybody and good-willed, old man!