Get a Life!

Help me with something. I'm writing a book about these gatherings. At some point, I'm going to have to describe what I do on stage. What I need is one quick, sharp, accurate phrase that dead-on nails me.

I could probably have come up with something myself, but I have a feeling that I wouldn't be at all that objective. You know, hunky and absolutely fascinating. Might not be 100% accurate. Your ideas would probably be a lot more honest than mine.

So throw me some possibilities. We'll get a handful, and then you guys can vote on whatever seems the most accurate. the most accurate. Whatever phrase wins gets in the book, promise. Never make a promise you'll regret. My speaking style is best described as a cross between Rip Taylor and Regis Philbin.

I mean, come on, Rip Taylor may be, but Regis? You people really know how to hurt a guy. Tail between my legs, I went home and began pondering the bigger picture. For months now Now I've been snooping around convention halls like some sort of over-aged hardy boy, but I still have lots more to learn.

Over and over again I'd hear audience members and promoters speak about how the fans absolutely love to see and hear and question and connect with Star Trek's cast members. So there was this unanswered question gnawing at me.

What was the competition doing? Was I keeping up with the Joneses and the Nimoyes and Mulgrews? Was Patrick Stewart knocking him deader than I was? I had to find out. Never and wherever possible, rubber mask on head, I started sneaking peaks at other of my peers' convention chats.