Auditions

It isn't Gabriel Heeder, kiddies. The makers of Tenderleaf tea and Blue Monet margarine present the Fred Allen show. With Fred's guest, said Gabergon and Charlie McCarthy, Portland Hoffa, Minerva Pius, Mrs. Nussbaum, the Tenderleaf workshop players, the Demarco Sisters, and Al Goodman and his Orchestra.

And if anybody cares who I am, my name is Kenny Delmar. Ladies and gentlemen, since the war ended, we've all been waiting for the return of the things we've missed. Tonight we bring you one of the things nobody's missed and here he is, Fred Allen.

Thank you and good evening ladies and gentlemen. Well Kenny, I've been away from radio quite a long time. I guess everything has changed. No Fred, things in radio are about the same. Oh really? About the same? Have they found out who the mystery chef is yet?

No. They haven't. How about one man's family? Have there been any additions to one? No Fred. What about Portia? Has she turned around yet? No, Porsche is still facing right. In a rut, huh? Say, tell me, Kenny, is that...

Is that old gentleman still on the air every week? You know the old fellow with... Oh, you mean a just plain bill? No, Bill wasn't his name. Mm. A parperkins? No, not parperkins. Singing Sam.

No, not singing Samuel Worm, though. This old guy, this old guy had a valet named Manchester, a poor Jack Benny. I've been away so long. Oh, you mean Jack Benny? Jack Benny, the octogenarian. And how he can play it. He's a guy. Is he? Is he still on the air? Oh, yes. Jack's still broadcasting for Lucky Strike. Really? It's remarkable what those