3x-xx-xx ep021 The Peacemakers

The makers of X-Likes present strange as it seems. Strange facts from strange sources are brought to you twice each week by the makers of X-Likes, the original chocolate at Laxendale. At this point, we'd like to have a little heart-to-heart talk with the people who are paying anywhere from $0.30 to $1 for a Laxendale.

If you have to pay that much because you can't get what you want for less, it's perfectly alright. But you wouldn't knowingly pay that much for something you could buy for a dime, would you?

And that's the point we want to make. There are millions of people today who are not paying that much because they have found that X-Lacks at ten cents a box is the finest laxative that money can buy.

They have found that paying more money will not give them anything they couldn't get in X-Lacks. X-Lacks is the perfect laxative. Milder, gentler, and it tastes just like delicious chocolate. The peacemaker. War, famine, pestilence, death, the poor horseman of the apocalypse.

Of the poor war is the most needless. The only one directly caused by man himself. It is 1896 in San Remo, Italy. In his lovely villa, looking out on the emerald waters of the Mediterranean, Alfred Nobel, immensely wealthy chemist and inventor of some of the most terrible high explosives, is talking with a friend.

It's a lovely evening, Joseph. So beautiful, so peaceful. I should think you would find it lovely, Nobel. You the destroyer of peace. Joseph, you know I love peace with all my heart. You have an unusual way of showing it, and betting such things of terror and misery that I dread to think of them.