Stupid Potato

Transcripts › Don't Touch That Dial shorts

Equal Pay (PSA)

Commercial · Don't Touch That Dial shorts · October 31, 2026 · 40 min · 4,060 words

The transcript of “Equal Pay (PSA)”, an episode of Don't Touch That Dial shorts first broadcast October 31, 2026. Press a time to play from that line (a 60-second preview; Potato Plus plays it all). Don't Touch That Dial plays Don't Touch That Dial shorts free, live around the clock. Search inside this transcript.

Machine transcript (may contain errors).

Transcript

The same employer means equal pay for men and women. No time for jokes, Batgirl.

It's no joke. It's the federal equal pay law. Holy act. Can we talk about this later? Will Batgirl save the dynamic duo? Will she get equal pay? Tune in tomorrow for division, this step, middle blade.

Oh, here they come again. And I'm frightened because a child can become trapped in me. And suffocate in ten minutes. Children have such imaginations to them and abandoned refrigerator can be a jail in the old west.

If I must be stored, make me safe by one of the methods described in this free booklet. Make me safe so children can play safe. This is one of my favorite places. It's a marsh that's managed and maintained by ducks unlimited.

And it's sole purpose is to provide a habitat for ducks, geese, birds, mammals and fish. That gets to be a more important and difficult job each year. And we need your help to keep on doing it.

I hope you can attend the Duxon limited fundraising event in your town. Some people have a deep abiding respect for the natural beauty that was once this country.

And some people don't. People start pollution. People can stop it. for a pollution booklet, Buck 1771, Radio City Station, New York. I know a place that's peaceful and quiet. A place where animals play. It's called a forest, but every year we start forest fires. A careless match or cigarette and poof fire. So the next time you're in the forest, be extra careful. Okay?

If you knew it was me, would you have listened? See this cute little vial here? It's crack, rock cocaine. The most addictive form. You think it's the glamour drug of the 80s? Well, that's the point of this front little reminder.

Read the full transcript with Potato Plus

85 more paragraphs, about 35 more minutes of the episode. Potato Plus is every episode on demand from any moment, every transcript in full and unlimited transcript search, for $5 a month.

Potato Plus opens soon: join the list

All Don't Touch That Dial shorts transcripts · Search every transcript · The archive