Stupid Potato

Transcripts › Don't Touch That Dial shorts

Vintage Commercials (1960s-70s)

Commercial · Don't Touch That Dial shorts · 76 min · 9,317 words

The transcript of “Vintage Commercials (1960s-70s)”, an episode of Don't Touch That Dial shorts. Press a time to play from that line (a 60-second preview; Potato Plus plays it all). Don't Touch That Dial plays Don't Touch That Dial shorts free, live around the clock. Search inside this transcript.

Machine transcript (may contain errors).

Transcript

And now girls, let's welcome today's speakers. Ladies, on a summer day when too much sun and too much fun make you tense, headache-y and irritable, take a bear break. Take two bear tablets for your headache and take it easy for a few minutes.

Take bear aspirin because bear is 100% aspirin, not just part aspirin, and you can't get anything faster or stronger than that. No wonder a bear works wonders. Do you like to know the secret of my popularity?

It's my lemon rang pies. I make the best in the neighborhood since new Jello lemon rang pie came out. My crust is always flaky and delicious. I just mix and press the crumbs in. My lemon filling is extremely popular.

Perfect every time. And my meringue is very light and fluffy. Real egg whites in the mix, you know. Hello, Lemon meringue. The secret of my success. Thanks to Jell-O, anyone to be the toast of the neighborhood.

As long as the pie holds out. You, Lemon meringue. One of five great pies from Jell-O. You get a big delight in every bite. With wonderful hostess, cream filled Twicies. Delicious hostess Twicies pick you up, up, up.

and never let you down, because they taste so good. Luscious creamy white filling inside, surrounded by soft golden sponge cake. Great for snacks and lunchbox treats. You get a big delight in every bite. Hostess, cream-filled Twinkies.

You love frozen swans and entrees just as they come. Fried chicken and whipped potatoes. Salisbury steak and crinkle cut potatoes, reded veal and spaghetti, turkey dressing and whipped potatoes, meat loaf and whipped potatoes. All you love them because you can add a salad, or add a vegetable, or whatever.

Read the full transcript with Potato Plus

205 more paragraphs, about 74 more minutes of the episode. Potato Plus is every episode on demand from any moment, every transcript in full and unlimited transcript search, for $5 a month.

Potato Plus opens soon: join the list

All Don't Touch That Dial shorts transcripts · Search every transcript · The archive