The Jerk (1979) (radio spot)

Hello, maybe you're not. Hey, my mother. Well, I wasn't. Are you trying to ask me for a date? If you're ready for laughs, you're ready for the first Steve Martin movie. I was born a poor black child.

The jerk. It may be the funniest comedy you'll ever see. The new phone books here! The new phone money now! Millions of people look at this book every day! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity that makes people whiter.

There are snails on her plate. You would think at a fancy restaurant like this, at these prices, you would be able to keep the snails off the food. Now take them away and bring me those melted cheese sandwich appetizers you talked me out of.

Steve Martin starring in his first movie, The Jerk, a Rags to Ridges to Rag Story, rated R under 17 out of it without bearing. Like it! I love it! This fabulous! How did it get here?

Where did it come from? What is it? That brings all my eyes. I saw it. I saw it. I hear it. I know it. Nothing happened. It took me every minute. He was like a cat and he was awful.

He could see those hands on those eyes. You got it too. Tell me about it. You got it. Is it human or inhuman? Earthly or unearthly? That fling question. So it's towning questions. The gentleman, do you realize what we've found?

A being from another world that's different from us is one pole from the other. If we can only communicate with it. See! What happened, Doctor? To the greenhouse, I was working, I couldn't see. Then a blast of cold air and I heard all sense of green.