Monolithic Oil (commercial)

Hello there, I'm Newton Aims talking to you on behalf of the monolithic oil corporation, about today's energy situation. You know, if we all just sacrifice a little, we can pull together to beat the current problems of not enough energy.

And monolithic is doing its part by killing most of the birds that nest around our beautiful oil refineries. The birds eat up a lot of food, and as everyone knows, food takes energy to grow and prepare.

So the fewer birds there are, the less energy will be wasted. Now, how can you help? Well, if there are any old folks around the house, just set them outside at night. This looks like a long hard winter, and the fewer people there are, the less energy demand there will be.

the old folks outside is nothing new, the Eskimos do it all the time, and they know a thing or two about surviving in cold weather without much heat, you betcha. When you drive, don't take your foot off the gas for stop signs, red lights, little children, or anything.

A smooth, steady, driving technique is the most economical. The cost of human lives, suffering, and property damage will be more than offset by the savings in gasoline. Well, I hope these tips have helped you become more aware that the blame for today's energy situation is on your shoulders, and your conscience, and not ours.

Monolithic oil cooperation. We want you to pay.