Once upon a Honeymoon

Lady Esther presents the Screen Guild Players. Esther Screen Guild play tonight, Once Upon a Honeymoon, the starring players. On a turn-in. And this is John Hodyak. Tonight Lady Esther presents the Screen Guild Players and the delightful RKO comedy Once Upon a Honeymoon.

It stars Lana Turner as Kitty O'Hara, alias Catherine Buttsmith. And John Hodyak is Patrick O'Toole. The Lady Esther Screen Guild Players once upon a honeymoon. This was back in 1938.

The little house painter with the crazy mustache hadn't smeared all of Europe yet, but his agents were booking a lot of future business. One of those agents, perhaps the cleverest, was the Austrian Baron Franz von Lubehr.

You couldn't pin anything on him, of course, but wherever he went, things just seemed to happen if he went to Schmitt's. Extra! Mail of Smith's Resign! If he went to Plutz... Etc? Or if he simply passed through Bucharest...

Which interested Paddle Tool on foreign service for the US radio network? But then the Barons Engagement was announced... To Miss Catherine Butt Smith and American. And that seemed to interest Pat even more. Honest, Mac, you're on a seer!

Have you? Last night in the hotel dining room. And it's funny, I've got a feeling I've seen it before. You need some new dialogue. That's the oldest line in the world. No kidding. I couldn't forget anything like that.

She's peaches and cream and technicolor. Why, she's got more curves than the Columbia Highway. Soft shoulders and all. Yeah, lay off, Pat. She's not your type. Any girls might type. I can just adjust myself at the drop of an eyelid.

That's the story of your life. Now look, son. She's out of your class. They say she's mainline Philadelphia. I say she's streamlined South Brooklyn. You should have heard her try to say Wiener Schnitzel. You're trying to say you think she's a phony?