The Jacoby Case

As Richard Diamond, Private Detective. Diamon Detective Agency, the smiling gumshoe. Quick! Sign up for our new contest and win yourself a beautiful all-chrome pre-tested, genuine electric chair. Oh, lovely. What do I have to do?

Just tear off your scalp and send it along with 25 words or less while you love Richard Diamond. I can do it in two words. What are they? You're pretty. Oh, you win, you win.

Where do you want the chair sent, madam? 975 Park Avenue, but I think I have AC Current. No problem with the Jiffy toaster chair. It works on any current AC-DC. And we have it in three speeds, 45, 78 and long playing.

Oh, no. Oh, baby. Hi. What are you doing? Oh, nothing. What's with you? Hi. Yes, ma'am. We gonna stay in? Oh, I... No, no, no, baby. I think that would be lovely. And so does my bank account.

Oh, broke again. Not quite. A little bent. I hope the next client I get has a big fat trust fund. Okay, bye baby. Let's see... Six shirts, four pairs of socks, and... Hey, how did that get in there?

Well... Okay, okay... Yeah? Well, what's the matter with you? You lost up my laundry. Okay, Walt, so it isn't Tuesday. Nothing's happening around this place. I felt like doing some washing. What do you mean?

You sound like you're surrounded by sergeant notices relatives. I got trouble? All armed with him. Sure, sure, sure. I'll throw a few more things into the soak and I'll be right down. Oh, thanks, Rick.

Hey, it's really serious, isn't it? Now, what makes you say that? Look, Father, every time you're ulcers hold a rally and you want me to come down and join in, you say thanks, Rick, just like I'd laid a nag or something for you.