My Santa Daddy

Happy Hanukkah! Happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah! Happy Hanukkah! The night before Christmas. It was the night before Christmas and I was filled with elation. I'd given the maid her two weeks vacation. I'd turned down the lights and I'd crawled under the covers and listened to Frankie sing songs for young lovers.

I wore a negligee all sheer in pink Because tonight was a night I would get me a mink. I mixed some our teenies and then brushed my hair. For I knew that Santa Claus soon would be there.

Then from outside came the roar of a caddy. I knew who was coming. It was my Santa Daddy. I quickly applied a few drops of my sin. He rushed to the door to let Santa Claus in.

He was short and fat. Pretty look kind of cute in his gold-plated Hamburg. In red cashmere suit. He spoke no word but walked straight for the table and calmly laid out a mink and a sink.

A huge diamond necklace with earrings to match. I looked at the label from Tim and Eve, match. A big stack of green stuff from hundreds to tens and the papers and keys to a Mercedes Vids.

I hear you a good girl. He said that's the latest. Well, I may not be good, but I've heard I'm the greatest. That's pretty sickening. Then I kissed him and things got kind of hazy.

Man, you better believe it. That Santa's real crazy. A little bit later, in the first line of dawn, I looked at the table and my presents were gone. There in their place was a short little note.

Mow Santa Claus. And here's what he wants. Dear Madam, now the living packages from the department store. I've made a terrible mistake for the girl next door. But I'd like to say one thing before I leave.