Stupid Potato

Transcripts › Jack Benny

Easter parade

Jack Benny · 1952 · 27 min · 3,071 words

The transcript of “Easter parade”, an episode of Jack Benny from 1952. Press a time to play from that line (a 60-second preview; Potato Plus plays it all). The Jack Benny Program plays Jack Benny free, live around the clock. Search inside this transcript.

Machine transcript (may contain errors).

Transcript

The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Billy with Mary Livingston Rochester, Dennis A. Bob Cross Business Walk from Fort Cat and Year's Early Dog. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Easter Sunday and in cities all over the country, people are parading.

Right now in Beverly Hills, Jack is getting ready for his stroll down Wiltshire Boulevard as is his customer every Easter. At the moment, he's taking a shower and Rochester is laying out his clothes. Mr. Billy's been in that shower a long time, but he always stays in there pretty long.

He'd get through sooner if he'd sing in the shower like everybody else instead of playing his violin. But it was pretty clever the way he tied that brush on the end of his violin bow.

I'll bet Hybens can't play Love & Bloom and scrub his back at the same. A Rochester? Rochester? Yes, boss. I'm through with my shower. Hemmy, my towel. Your towel? All right, the stafflers. Don't be so technical when I'm freezing.

Here you are, and here's your shorts. Thanks. See, that shower wasn't degrading. You know, Rochester, since I've been dieting, I feel like a new man. I look so much trimmer, don't I? You look about the same to me, boss.

Oh, don't be silly. I bet I lost a lot of weight. I'll get on the scale and show you. See, here's the card. Let me see what it says. You would be a financial success if you weren't such a spent person.

If you weren't such a spendthrift. Oh, scale! Here's my way. Hmm. A hundred and two pounds. Rochester, this scale is way off. I could have told you that when you read your fortune.

Read the full transcript with Potato Plus

67 more paragraphs, about 25 more minutes of the episode. Potato Plus is every episode on demand from any moment, every transcript in full and unlimited transcript search, for $5 a month.

Potato Plus opens soon: join the list

All Jack Benny transcripts · Search every transcript · The archive