How Jack Met Phil Harris (AFRS)

Starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Larry Stevens, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Rochester, this is Mr. Livingston. I'd like to speak to Mr. Benny, please. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Livingston. I wouldn't want to disturb the admiral now.

Rochester, what are you talking about? Have you heard? Mr. Benny's been made an admiral. Jack Benny, an admiral? Are you surprised? Surprised. Rochester, I knew we were winning, but this is ridiculous. This is ridiculous.

I know, Ms. Limston, but I saw it in the paper. He got the commission from Governor Griswall of Nebraska. Gee. And Mr. Benny is now a full-fledged admiral in the Nebraska Navy. In the Nebraska?

Oh, I get it. He's an imaginary admiral in an imaginary Navy. Yeah, but he's taking it seriously. He made me so gold-spads on his blue-sared suit. Oh, for heaven's sake. Rochester, how many stripes did you make you so on?

I don't know, but you could cut the sleeves off at the elbow and instill the up-pull-at. Goodbye. Fleet maneuvers. You Rochester, glad to have you aboard.

Uh, batten down the hatch and sit down. I can't leave now. I'm about to engage the enemy. Now what? The enemy fleet is over here.

Boss, don't splash water on that bass man. Quiet. Now I swing my carriers around like this and bring my destroyers over to this side and encirculum. There you are, Rochester. Now if you were the enemy and I had you surrounded like that, what would you do?

I pull out the floating ground every ship you've got! Don't be silly. Being an admiral in the Nebraska Navy is serious business. Ah, sir! And anyway, I'm proud of my appointment. In fact, I'm sorry I didn't stay with it when I was in the service 24 years ago.