Stupid Potato

Transcripts › Jack Benny

The Beavers come to Jack's for Christmas

Jack Benny · December 24, 1950 · 24 min · 3,093 words

The transcript of “The Beavers come to Jack's for Christmas”, an episode of Jack Benny first broadcast December 24, 1950. Press a time to play from that line (a 60-second preview; Potato Plus plays it all). The Jack Benny Program plays Jack Benny free, live around the clock. Search inside this transcript.

Machine transcript (may contain errors).

Transcript

Ladies and gentlemen, here it is, Christmas Eve and like so many others throughout the country, Jack Benny is preparing a dinner party for his many friends. At the moment, he's setting the table in his living room.

Rochester's helping. There. He's a table sure looks nice, doesn't it, Rochester? Uh-uh. And I like the way the house is picked up too. Especially the tree. In a rocher, that's the biggest Christmas tree we've ever had.

Yes, much has grown up for since last year. Oh, more than that. You, you, you're going through a lot of trouble decorating the house this year. Yes, but it's worth it, Roger. Everything looks so, you know, so Christmassy.

Especially in the service port. You've got a reason, Holly, in the window of each dentist. I think it's tonight, and during the holidays, the soap is on the house, you know. Why's you having this to think?

You ain't got a little freak of Holly and Polly's case. Ah, huh? Ah! Hello, Polly. Come on, Polly. What did Daddy teach you to say tonight when the people come in? Mary! Mary! Come on, come on, the rest of it.

Mary! Mary! Mary! Mary, what? Mary Livingston. No, no, no. Come on, try it again. Come on, Polly. Mary! Mary! Mary! Mm. Then acting awfully independent as the price of eggs went up. Mary! Now, come on, Polly. You can say it. Mary! Mary!

That settles it. Rochester, this year Polly will get no eggnog during the party. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. She's as sweet as... WOO! It works every time. You know, she's a sort of a feathered Phil Harris.

Livingston. Well, she said she'd come over and help us. She'll probably be here pretty soon. Polly, please step away from the mirror so I can see how I love... Yes, ma'am. Now, let's see. Oh, Miss Livingston, you look simply beautiful in that evening down.

Read the full transcript with Potato Plus

69 more paragraphs, about 22 more minutes of the episode. Potato Plus is every episode on demand from any moment, every transcript in full and unlimited transcript search, for $5 a month.

Potato Plus opens soon: join the list

All Jack Benny transcripts · Search every transcript · The archive