Keeping Up With the Jones

Transcribed. You remember the tale of two cities, don't you?

I'll throw it all sat Madame LaFarge, her knitting needles, fashioning endless antimacasses, or something. But this is a tale of one city called Springfield. And when knitting needles start to clatter in a certain white frame house on Maple Street, something is going to come down on somebody's head.

Like this. Betty, are you sure you had 440 stitches when you cast on? you cast on. Of course I'm sure mother. I counted them at least 440 times. Margaret I'm home. Let me see those instructions again. I counted 318. Stay out of this my head.

I don't have to knit head. Girls. Margaret. We're in the den Jim. Now Betty let's start all over. You cast on 440 stitches. Hi, honey. Hello, Betty. Hi, Father. Hi, my dear. Margaret, where do you here would I have planned?

Hello, Jim. I'm not late for dinner, am I? Dinner may not be ready for some time. See, Mother, I don't get to 420 until I knit 41 and two together. Nobody is when you do 42 and two together.

I say 318. What are you girls knitting, a football jersey? Father. Betty is making a hand-knit dress, And I certainly think they could make these instructions clearer. A hand-knit dress. All the girls in my class have hand-nits.

All of them? That's quite a yarn. Hmm. Well, Vyandrizki and Janie Liggett do. How long's it take to knit one? It took Vyandrizki three years. Oh, great. Daddy, guess what I decided to do for my birthday party.

Just a second, kitten. I came home intending to tell your mother something and now I... Well, simply have to unravel to the 18th row and start over from there. Margaret. Oh, I just hate to knit and this dress will probably look horrible on me when it's done.