Archie Impersonates Opera Star ( #85)

We take you now to Duffy Tavern. Hello Duffy Tavern, what a fleet meet deed. Archie, the man's just making Duffy ain't here. Hello, Duffy. Duffy, you're the seat of joint tonight. Full of sailors.

Sailors. The male branch of the waves. Yeah. Oh, really great guys, though, Duffy. Huh? You heard that sailors don't spend dough? No, Duffy is just the fences, those types. They can't get their hands in their pocket.

I don't know, I guess they just come off a battleship. Which reminds me, how's your wife? Huh? What? She lost weight. How much? She went down from 350 to 347. How'd she do it? Somewhere under where, huh?

Well, look, I'll be just between you and me. What is it, Wertara? What is it, Wertara? Oh, the doctor says it's glandular, huh? To me, it looks globular. Oh, it's all in the thyroid. Well, the rest of her legs ain't no toothpicks, you know.

Boy, what a fat dame. But I guess that's the curse of drink, Duffy. You'd have been sober, you never remarried it. And I'm James the Royal Headaches, though, you know? They're all covered with the same mold.

Like my girl, Dolly Snapples. I know she's a tooth timer, she's pickled to me, and yet I can't get her out of my mind. Everything I do reminds me of a stuffy. I see a face and every pretzel.

I hear her voice in the slow drip of the beard tap. But she'll come back to me when she gets tired of running around with them other jerks. Sure, I got a hunt she's on her last lap.

Yup. Yeah, that's it, stuffy. Main time, I think I'll just go and bury myself in me work, Duffy. OK, I'll call you back. I'll get the work here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.