Guest Colonel Stoopnagle

In cooperation with the Arm Forces radio service, the following broadcast is one of the radio programs selected to be shortwave to our Arm Forces overseas. Bristol Myers, the makers of Sal hepatica famous laxative and minutrov modern chest rub, bring you Duffy's Tavern.

Tavern, what do you eat mate? I eat a man who's just making Duffy ain't here. Hello Duffy, tonight Colonel Stoughnaggle. Oh, I wouldn't say that, Duffy.

Oh, he's lost weight. I would describe more as a big thin slob. Crazy? Man, he ain't really crazy. Describe more as a wealthy eccentric. With no dough. Yeah, his inventions? Oh, well, Duffy, he's invented some very good ones.

Well, at the bathroom door that you don't have to wait outside of. Yeah, because it opens into a closet. Yeah, and then, uh, down the round dice, he has. Round dice, you know, for people who would write up play marbles.

And other... Hey, Duffy, what's that noise? Mrs. Duffy slugging you with a frying pan, because you won't buy her a mink coat? Duffy, you better leave her slugger. A mink could probably set you back about 150 bucks.

Well certainly even more expensive than rabbit. Well that's like unaccounted as more rabbits than minx. Why is that? Well maybe it's because the rabbit is a friendlier animal. Look Duffy, I'm busy. Fight it out yourself. I gotta go figure the income facts.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Duffy's Tavern. Come in and meet Ben again, Eddie the waiter, Ben Aventuta, Peter Van Steepen and his orchestra, our special guest tonight, Colonel Emu E. Q. Stoopnagle, and Archie himself, Ed Gartner.

Brought to you by two products, it will pay you to remember. Minute Rob, when you have a cold, Sal hepatica, when you need a laxative. Minute Rob, Sal hepatica. Now, let's see, I got to feed these taxes.