Guests Kate Smith and Ted Collins ( #6)

The Special Service Division invites you soldiers, sailors, and Marines of the United Nations to drop in at Duffy's Tavern. Well, Duffy's where the elite may see. I keep the managers faking. Duffy ain't here. Oh, oh, Duffy!

Cakesmith? Yes, you'll be here any minute. And Duffy with Cakesmith's smithsing in here will let him shackles roll in. Shackles? Out of town customers? Why Duffy, do you know how many people listen to Cate's program every Friday night?

What? Five hundred. Duffy, what would you say if I told you Cate's myth has over a thousand listeners? Maybe even two ducks. Well, on two thousand, I wouldn't bet you. Well, Duffy, you see, according to statistics, uh...

There is one radio for every two and a half people. Well, take them around here. Now, Kalahans got a set, but Moriarity ain't got a set, and Needa has half the McQuiet, a midget. So you see, that's one set for every two and a half people.

What? Well, Duffy, the half a person don't have to be a midget. to be immediate. Well, it could be like half Indian. Half Eskimo. Or even like me. Stuffy. How'd you turn this archer? I'm a painting and welcome sign on this table, for daddy. Hey, listen to it.

Welcome, Kate Smith, both the gingel and boisterous. You ought to watch what pearls is to oysterous. Pretty good, huh? If only this wasn't such a crummy-looking table for it. It goes well with that poem.

Listen, Eddie, don't think it was such an easy job writing this poem. I had to arrange the letters in the word, forstress, so that the bravey stain just got the eye. Well, how about Mr. Collins? Is he gonna welcome him?